Of Squeezes, Ratings Agencies, Lawyers and Haircuts

Well the Mervynflation report came out again and managed to show remarkable stability as inflation ex-everything is encouragingly low. Well done, Mervyn. Great application again of the Gaucho Grill.

Elsewhere December is going just swimmingly as far as the general "stuff you" moves go. We are still intrigued at the almost desperate recycling of Eurowoe headlines in an effort to get Eur/usd down again. But the price is not responding. The path of pain beckons beyond the oft quoted 1.3450 JSTFR point. The latest excuse for this further squeeze on Euro shorts came via the mood swing on USD. Or rather the Moody's swing on US. Once again the ratings agencies come out and screw a country with their views observed through their rear-view blindingly obvious binoculars. Are the ratings agencies as dangerous and uncontrollable as Wiki-leaks? No. Probably not, as what they say has normally been out in the public domain for years (though a lot of folks would like to see them go down for abuse crimes). We have bankers' taxes, how about ratings agency taxes, where we refuse to allow ratings agency employees to receive bonuses if their agency causes financial upset?

Whilst we are on the subject of taxing professions. How come the lawyers get off so lightly? Talk about a tax on efficiency, a tax on lawyers, if it decreased their activities and intervention, would actually be a tax that INCREASED efficiency. And if you thought Winston Churchill was talking about the RAF when he said "Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few", it's more likely he had just received a lawyer's bill.

Another profession that appears to shun efficiency as much as the lawyers is, surprisingly, hairdressing. How many of you are as bemused as TMM by the questions even one's regular hairdresser asks. "What is it to be then?" Errr... Shorter? "Would You like it layered?"... Wassat? "Scissors or clippers?" Err.. "Tapered or straight across the back?".. I dunno I never look at the back! "Wet or dry cut?" Why the hell do I care? Basically we don’t speak "hairdresser language", so much as we'd love to be able to trot out "scissor-over-comb-1/2inch-over-ear-layered-1-inch-top-thinned-tapered-back-dry-cut-shaken-not-stirred", we can't. We are normal people and don’t watch reality hairdresser programs. So here are some TMM top tips to all our hairdresser readership. Please do one of the following.

On completing a haircut, jot down exactly what you have just done in hairdresser language on a small card that we punters can present to the next hairdresser to get the same results. Or set up "HAIRNET", an internet based service that you log the above data in, preferably with photo, so that it can be accessed at salons globally, then make it into an "app". Or don’t act surprised when the client, as this one did, hands over a phone and asks to have a photo taken of the result for use at the next visit.

Finally a tip for us customers. You know that bit at the end where they get out a mirror and show you the back (as quaintly traditional as offering that stupid oversized pepper pot in Italian restaurants) and you mumble the expected "yes lovely thanks" ?
Well, instead scream: "WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO IT!! ". It doesn’t half freak them out.

Now we know we should be saying something intelligent about the markets, especially after the very generous responses a few of you have made to the TMM "last request" Christmas appeal, but we really haven't anything intelligent to add. But, to those of you who have responded - A really Big Thank You. It is a lonely place doing this for the love of it, so seeing your appreciation and support being channeled to something worthy is heart-warming. Thanks again. To those of you that haven't responded, we are sure that you have good reason, but there is a candle lit in the window of the "JustGiving" site for you just in case.

TMM