Competition Time

We are back in the badlands of admin-o-tastic bullshit. It feels like career regression is kicking in big time, with one member of TMM feeling he has actually just crossed below his original entry level into the world of finance. Didn't they invent machines powered by steam 200 years ago that can do the job better than the current ones we are given, powered by electrons?

Out there in the real world it looks as though the falling bonds have been saved by the twanging of the safety rope and we are generally on hold. Pause day. Or COMPETITION DAY!!

Now TMM recently received an offer to invite our readership to participate in an essay competition run by a body of investment managers. The competition involves writing a paper that critically looks at how investors "might better manage portfolios during market downturns yet still capitalize on periods of superior performance". The winner would receive a sum of money and the chance to tell others all about it.

Which leads us to consider all the oxymorons, tautologies and downright "D-UH"'s involved in this. But instead of raising little points like "Well, if it works so well, why am I telling you about it" or "You mean you haven't heard of short positions or options?", we would just like to launch our own TMM Award.

Entrants are asked to submit papers on their designs for a "free money" machine, accompanied by $20,000 of the free money it has made as proof of its success. The winner will receive a sum of $10,000, the chance to talk to a field full of sheep in North Wales, a MUG and will then be told to bugger off.

Runner up certificates will be awarded to anyone sending in over $1,000 of free money to TMM. We look forward to your entries and sailing off into the sunset at your expense.

Most Faithfully Yours,
Dr T, Dr M and Dr 'Bleedin' M, PhD, MBA, CFA (and random qualifications from the Univeristy of Cowboywebsite, Witchy-bloody-taw)
Joint Chairs, Dining Table and Tea Tray
BigImpressive-Sounding Fund Management, Inc, LLC
Bowlacks, USA