THE CLIFF - A Pantomime

A friend of Team Macro Man has offered us his script for a seasonal dramatic romp. Though you may think it is remarkably familiar, we now present for the first time, but by no means the last -

THE CLIFF - a Pantomime; an AMUSEMENT for financial dramatists.

Featuring our hero BIG EARS, his elf-like accomplice TINY TIM, BONER,
a pantomime villain, and PC BERNANKE, a POLICEMAN, wielding a truncheon
and a QEaser.

TINY TIM :   "Look out, Big Ears, there's a Cliff behind you"
BIG EARS :    "Oh no, there isn't"
AUDIENCE:  "Oh yes, there is"
BIG EARS:     "Oh no, there isn't"
AUDIENCE:  "Oh yes, there is"
BIG EARS looks over shoulder, recoils in mock horror.
Exit TINY TIM, stage right.

BONER appears, stage left.
BIG EARS:    "Hello, Boner, do you want to go over the Cliff?"
BONER looks over shoulder, recoils in mock horror.
BONER:         "Why you... socialist wealth distributing rascal..."
(BIG EARS:    "You, you, you, small business owner.."
BONER:          "I built that business with my own two hands"
BIG EARS:     "Oh no, you didn't"
AUDIENCE:   "Oh yes, he did"
BIG EARS: reflectively "Really? People do that? I never knew"
AUDIENCE:    "Oh yes, they do"
BONER:            "Son of Satan. Socialist!"
Big Ears and Boner engage in play wrestling by the Cliff
PC BERNANKE: "Break it up, you guys, before I QEase you"
Exit the Policeman, waving truncheon, stage right.

BONER:             "Maybe we can compromise, Big Ears?
BIG EARS: suspiciously "How so, Boner?"
BONER:             "How about we axe some deductions for middle class"
BIG EARS:         "How about we axe your mortgage deduction too?"
BONER:              "Why you, double crossing... Hawaiiian socialist.."
Big Ears and Boner engage in play wrestling by the Cliff

BIG EARS:          "Careful, you d*ck, there's a Cliff there, you know"
BONER:               "Oh no, there isn't"
AUDIENCE:        "Oh yes, there is"
BONER:               "Oh no, there isn't"
AUDIENCE:       "Oh yes, there is"

BONER:               "OK, I'll sell out the $500k crowd, save my mortgage"
BIG EARS:          "Deal. Do you want to try Michelle's arugula?"
BONER:               "Is that European socialist lettuce? No thanks."
BIG EARS:           "Suit yourself. It's quite peppery. So, deal then?"
BONER:                "Deal. Now I have to call off the dogs."
BONER exits stage left

Enter TINY TIM stage right
BIG EARS:            "Yo, Timmy, what up, bro? Wanna play HORSE?"
TINY TIM:           "Really? You want to play a 5 foot 2 guy at hoops?"
BIG EARS:            "I like winning"
TINY TIM:            "Apparently... and you did beat THE GLOVE."
BIG EARS:            "Like beating Barkley at golf. No contest."
TINY TIM:             "It's too early for the deal. Carry on wrangling"
BIG EARS:             "How so?"
TINY TIM:             "Long bond auctions next week."
BIG EARS looks at audience quizzically
TINY TIM:             "Imagine if we could sell a load of 10s at 1,50%"
BIG EARS:             "Good point. I could drag it out until my vacation.."
TINY TIM:             "Now you're talking, leader of the free world"
BIG EARS:             "NO later. Michelle would kick my ass."
Exit TINY TIM, grinning, stage right.

Enter BONER, stage left.
BONER:                  "OK. We hog tied De Mint, you got your deal"
BIG EARS:  grinning "Hey, BONER. Your deal stinks."
BONER:                   "Why you dirty double crossing socialist...."
Big Ears and Boner engage in play wrestling by the Cliff)
BIG EARS:               "Careful, you d*ck, there's a Cliff there, you know"
BONER:                    "Oh no, there isn't"
AUDIENCE:            "Oh yes, there is"
BONER:                    "Oh no, there isn't"
AUDIENCE:             "Oh yes, there is"

Enter the  POLICEMAN, stage left, waving truncheon.
PC BERNANKE:      "Break it up, you guys, before I QEase you"


CURTAIN - INTERMISSION.

Repeat until December 17th, when Big Ears goes on vacation.