Euro Statement on Greece Translated

Today the Euro Zone Finance Ministers issued a statement on Greece. Team Macro Man offer a translation.

"The Eurogroup takes note of the provisional results of the Greek elections on 17th June, which should allow for the formation of a government that will carry the support of the electorate to bring Greece back on a path of sustainable growth."

We hope that the result so far means that Tsipras will get back in his box and we can get back to enforcing our plan on Greece.

"The Eurogroup acknowledges the considerable efforts already made by the Greek citizens and is convinced that continued fiscal and structural reforms are Greece’s best guarantee to overcome the current economic and social challenges and for a more prosperous future of Greece in the euro area."

Tell them something about doing very well so far, blah, blah. Better thank Joe Papapublic for "doing the right thing" but we ain't swaying. It's our plan, not their's and if they want to stay in the Euro they'd better understand that. Ungrateful ^*£%ers .

"The Eurogroup reiterates its commitment to assist Greece in its adjustment effort in order to address the many challenges the economy is facing."

Stop struggling, we are stronger than you. You WILL take your medicine, even if our assistance isn't what you hope for, but is just us holding you down whilst we pour more austerity down your throats.

The Eurogroup therefore looks forward to the swift formation of a new Greek government that will take ownership of the adjustment programme to which Greece and the Eurogroup earlier this year committed themselves.

And once a new euro-puppet government is in place it will get back to doing our bidding.

The Eurogroup expects the Troika institutions to return to Athens as soon as a new government is in place to exchange views with the new government on the way forward and prepare the first review under the second adjustment programme.

Our special forces advisors will be back in Athens to tidy up, taking names and reminding our dear Greek brothers of exactly what we expect of them. And yes, we expect a few of them may just "trip on the stairs" Ahhmm.

Right phrase that lot in some Euro-waffle and with any luck we may even get through the summer without being disturbed on the beach, but phew that one was close. Now where's my expense sheet? How many hours do you reckon we can claim for that statement? Oh yes, Sunday too, double time at least. Hey what are you still doing here.. Switch that damned tape off.. [Click]